The viral sharing of bar tabs has become a curious Internet subgenre of late. In the past we’ve shared the Nashville Predators fan who ordered 93 Coors Lights at a playoff game, followed by Rob Gronkowski’s $100,000 bill at a Connecticut nightclub. What’s next, photo shaming of athletes who eat too many carbs? Who sloppily dot their i’s?
Actually, it’s this damning evidence of the Oklahoma City Thunder’s Andre Roberson, fresh off signing a $30 million contract, leaving a pathetic tip on a $487.13 bill at Austin’s Chupacabra Cantina.
For those counting, that’s less than a three percent tip, which Roberson tried to explain by saying it was only bottle service. That’s a thin defense, but really the bigger issue here is with the lacking arithmetic employed to try to arrive at an even $500 (the total should be $500.07), which is perhaps an inevitable byproduct when you’re buying $487.13 worth of booze in the first place.
Anyway, let this stand as another lesson for the kids out there: Work on your left hand. Always follow your shot. And when you order a bottle service after signing your big contract, make sure the waiter you stiff doesn’t have a Twitter account.